Blog

09.14.18

Perfection: Friend or Foe?

Perfection will try to stop you.

It’s that voice that whispers, “ if it won’t be perfect what’s the point?” But – what is perfection exactly and why do we even try to strive for that? According to the dictionary, perfection is:

“the condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects”

Somethings can be perfect, a computer algorithm, a robot, but you and your creative expression were never meant to be “perfect” because then we would all be the same (see above mention of robot), and where is the joy in every one being just like everyone else?

But here’s what you should keep in mind,that perfection IS ALL IN YOUR MIND. Perfection in humans is subjective. Perfection in art is opinion. There is no one standard that all great masters (or anyone for that matter) agreed upon of what a perfect human looks like, sounds like, acts like, thinks like, and so on. Or a perfect painting, or piece of music, or donut, or

ANYTHING.

Nothing is perfect because then it would be done. If it was done there would be no reason to every create another song, or piece of technology, or to even pursuing anything. There would be no reason to continue the journey, to continue discovering, the perfection is in the imperfection because it allows us to grow.

So, when that little voice tries to stop you by judgmentally saying, “it’s not perfect.” Don’t listen, because it will prevent you from creating your next masterpiece, or trying something new, or setting a new goal, starting a new job, or a million other fun things you could try.

Let it be messy and real, and in that it WILL be beautiful. Don’t let the goal of perfection keep you from playing the game. It ultimately will be perfect in it’s imperfection, because it’s a reflection of you. It’s the unique shine of one diamond from another, the memories built into the patina, it’s the “you” coming through.

09.12.18

Validation – For More Than Just Your Parking Pass

I went to therapy almost every day for a year and I learned a lot.

About myself, about other people, and about interpersonal relationships. One of my favorite things that I learned was the word “validation” and one of the best things I learned was what it meant in regards to what we expect or want from other people.

Validation in regards to interpersonal communication is essentially being acknowledged.

It’s so simple, and yet it’s something we don’t always do for each other. Validating someone’s feelings can prevent an argument, it can reassure someone, it can be so comforting to be validated. It’s what friends do for each other. It’s what parents do for children.

But what if someone won’t validate your feelings?

If someone won’t validate how your feeling it should raise some red flags, and definitely cause you to start evaluating your situation. But here’s a secret, you don’t need that particular someone to validate you. Of course we want to be validated, especially from people we care about, but someone withholding validation from you can be a form of manipulation. So don’t allow that.

And if you do need to be validated, I got you: You’re worthy. You’re worth it. You deserve the best in life. You’ve got this!

Don’t let someone hold their approval or validation of you over your head. You are so much more than that!

09.10.18

Learn to Keep on Learning…and Learning…and Learning

“Education is not the learning of facts, but the training of the mind to think. – Albert Einstein

Neuroplasiticity is the “capacity of neurons and neural networks in the brain to change their connections and behaviour in response to new information, sensory stimulation, development, damage, or dysfunction. Although neural networks also exhibit modularity and carry out specific functions, they retain the capacity to deviate from their usual functions and to reorganize themselves.” – Encyclopedia Britannica

Why do people say, “learn something new every day”? It’s because it keeps you growing. Continuing to grow is SO IMPORTANT because when you stop growing you stop progressing. Have you ever heard the saying, “People stop playing when they grow old.” but maybe it’s actually, “People grow old when they stop playing.” There’s actually science behind this! If you take the playing and think of it as learning, it’s true!

So what do you love to learn? Or what is something you’ve always wanted to try? It’s never too late to start, your brain grows by giving it new information and new positive experiences. Another added benefit of learning new things is enriching your personality and making your story more interesting! Have you always wanted to learn to scuba dive? Or yodel? Learning not only helps your mind, but it can make you a better version of yourself by evolving your thinking, expanding your mind, broadening your perspective, and introducing you to a mindset or a group of people you wouldn’t have met otherwise.

So today, do you think you’re ready to learn something new?

09.07.18

The Inspiration Trick

What is inspiration to you?

As a songwriter, inspiration is something I’ve spent time studying and learning about. I’ve found that inspiration is one of my favorite things because of what it can do for us as humans. Inspiration motivates us to set GOALS, to reach for goals, to try something NEW, to be our best, INSPIRATION is something we all need.

I find inspiration in nature, travel, art, goals, daydreaming, music, conversations, ideas, really anything can become inspiration and you never know when it will happen! To me, that is so fascinating and exciting! Sometimes alone time can be inspiring – I know that can be the case for me. Or maybe looking at people you admire on instagram is something that inspires you to dream and then set goals.

One source of inspiration that is particularly interesting is how we as people have found inspiration in other people. You can be inspired by someone’s lifestyle, the things they overcame, and the things they achieved. The BEST THING about this kind of inspiration is that it can occasionally masquerade under another name…jealous. But instead of letting that envious feeling take hold, just look at it as inspiration. Don’t let yourself fall into the trap of comparison, or letting yourself think, “well if I had that advantage I could be a _____ too!”. Instead just look at what they achieved and let it inspire you to be the best version of yourself and that you can achieve what they have and even more.

If you can reprogram your mind to see something that you normally would envy as something inspiring you can STOP the comparison cycle. It will help you make the jump to APPRECIATING something that once made you jealous, because you will start to think of yourself achieving something similar. Change your thoughts…CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

08.17.18

Is Someone Projecting All Over You?

Projecting; is the projection of emotions that exist within an individual onto another individual as a coping mechanism.

This is something people do to others, mostly without meaning to. People use it as a way to avoid confronting something within themselves. Usually feelings, they are uncomfortable with. Unfortunately, the projector person often doesn’t announce to the rest of the world that they are projecting their own issues and insecurities onto everyone else. Which means that often times those projector people are critical and end up hurting others.

Don’t let yourself be falsely labeled by an individual. Just because they are trying to avoid dealing with their own feelings, or because they won’t own their own desires. Projecting can happen in all sorts of ways. There are many examples of this;

Parents living out their own dreams through their children.
Someone who is in a bad relationship telling you your relationship if floundering.
It’s someone with a drug or alcohol problem who accuses anyone who tries to help them of having control issues.

Most of the time the projector doesn’t even see their own behavior. However, that doesn’t mean the rest of us have to blindly allow someone to label us. Just because someone labels you doesn’t make it true.

Before you take someone’s words too heavily, make sure that they aren’t projecting their deep beliefs, fears, and desires, onto you.

Because you are made for so many great things. So much more than just embodying someone else’s fears and problems.

If you’d like to know more about projecting, visit this link about psychological projecting

08.13.18

Life Update August 2018

I took a little break over the end of July and August to focus onget spending time with my family and thinking over what I’ll be working on next!

I now find it crucial to follow my intuition and when I need a break to take one! It helps me write and create the best music, content, and keeps me refreshed! Now, I’m ready to finish the summer strong and head into the fall!

So here’s a little update.

I GOT MARRIED!

It sounds so new to say “husband” but I’m excited to start a fun adventure with my love. We got married on 8/8/18 and I’ll probably share the pictures once I get them back from the photographer!

WRITING NEW MUSIC UPDATE

It’s been a fun time this year already! What with planning a wedding, releasing an album, having a wedding, and now starting to write for a new project!

MY 16-YEAR FRIENDSHIP WITH MY HORSE

My 29 year old thoroughbred crossed the rainbow bridge a few days ago. It’s never easy to say goodbye to a horse, especially one you’ve had so long. He was the perfect horse; beautiful, big, kind, sweet, gentle, and a true gem. He will always be one of the most special horses to me and I will love him always. I know he’s at peace now and I’m glad we got to spend so many wonderful years enjoying each other’s company.

SOMETHING NEW UPDATE

I’ve decided it’s really important to me to make empowering people, especially women, a consistent part of what I do. I want to help them, and all people, find their power, the things they’re passionate about, and to live life to the fullest! I’m not totally sure what that’s going to look like, but I’m working on it!

It’s been a busy summer and now I’m excited to focus on the blog, new music, and empowering through speaking and music! Tell me about your summer!