Relief.
The worry, the doubt, the fear that he would think I was losing my mind, dissolved as soon as that gold glow appeared between us. He didn’t just accept what I told him, he understood. He knew. There had been a connection between us from the first moment I saw him. Now it had become something else, something far more intrinsic. We sat there together as the sun was going down, a kaleidoscope of colors out over the water. It was hard to say how much time had passed, probably only an hour or so, but the impact of how much had changed in that short span made time feel strangely flexible. “I need to get back” I heard myself saying, my voice different, the person I had been this morning now irreparably changed. “I’ll walk with you.” James said. It crossed my mind that we may be seen together, and I wasn’t sure I was prepared to explain that, but I didn’t want our time together to end. “Walk with me to the top of the path.” He looked into my eyes, as though he knew what I was thinking, but he didn’t speak. We made our way back up the path again, and everything was different now, especially the way I felt about him. It was instinctual and second nature. Although our hands were not touching, I felt the pull between us. Stronger than ever before. I wanted to reach out to him, wanted our hands to be connected physically, my fingers intertwined with hus, but I fought the urge. We walked in silence, there were no words that could distract me from the intensity of the air around us. The colors around me looked brighter, the air practically sparkling around us. It was so much more vivid, I could feel the energy humming in the space between our bodies.
He walked with me to the very edge, just before it turned into a winding dirt path onto the manor grounds. I didn’t want to explain myself, or James, to anyone, luckily it was dark now. Slowly, James reached out for my hand. As his fingers grazed mine in the softest fleeting touch, the light began again. My heartbeat quickened. His hand only held mine for a fraction of a second, he let go before the intensity rose any higher. He smiled at me and I turned to go, but he kept his eyes locked on mine. I was frozen, looking into those deep green eyes. Familiar from the first time I had seen them. I could feel my fingertips begin to tingle, reigniting the reminder of all we had discovered in the past hour. He stepped back, disappearing into the dark with each footfall. He was swallowed by the rising of the night and then he was out of sight. I stood staring after him feeling a tingling in my hands and the rest of my body. Something had arisen in that moment the golden light began between us. Now it ebbed and flowed within me. A current through my body, a deep river that had always been there, and now I was aware of it.
As the night went on, the sensation stayed. It had been hours and this new awareness, the ability to feel some kind of energy moving through me, had not disappeared. My life now had two stages, before James and after.

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My life before had been centered on the future that had been racing towards me; life in New York, but without even realizing it, my focus had shifted. Now there was magic, there was James.
Nothing had ever felt so electrifying. The strange occurrences now made sense, except for the dreams and it didn’t seem as though they would be stopping any time soon. Last nights was the worst so far, I had memories, it was the most realistic that I’d experienced. I was looking down from a great height, a stone palace. My palace, I realized as suddenly memories of an entire life flooded into my mind faster than in previous dreams. The walls were ornately carved with beautiful scenes and hieroglyphs, they stretched up to 30 foot ceilings, omens of good fortune and protection. The space was open but dark from the size of the structure; it was protected from the blazing sun by the design which created immense shade. A breeze blew through the hall, massive openings on either end. From where I stood I could see desert stretching out endlessly into the distance. Directly below me, a city stretched out, kissing the desert on its edges. People milled through a marketplace below, with alleys and pathways like mazes weaving a patchwork through the city below. A memory floated up to the surface of my mind; someone was coming. We were expecting some unknown visitors, word had reached us that a large caravan was moving through the desert toward our city. I looked out across the desert again and now I could just make out a plume of dust in the distance; movement. Something big, traveling this way. I wasn’t the only one who spotted the impending visitors, the others around me were also becoming aware. They watched as they lounged in various places around the room. Pillows, rugs, and low tables created seating areas around the room. Sheer fabric floated in the breeze creating the illusion of privacy through the space. People I knew in this dream life milled about the space. They glanced to me frequently, but no one spoke. I looked back to the growing sand cloud out in the desert. From this vantage point we had the best view to see the size of the group. The buzz of the news was spreading down in the marketplace from one stall to the next. I could guess at the questions from those not in the know, “Were they here to trade?”, “To buy?” The memory of the scout rose back into my mind. He had mentioned Roman armor. Then a new memory, older and less clear, appeared in my mind, one of Roman warriors and famed heroes. Trying to piece too much together began to give me a headache. As I stared into the desert the sun was almost blinding. I tried to shield my eyes but it was so bright my eyes began watering. I squeezed them closed for relief. When I opened my eyes again, I was staring at the sun, but through the white gauzy curtains of my bedroom window in Ireland.

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“Sinclaira? You look…different…” these were Lily’s words as she stared at me quizzically across the table. I snapped back to the present moment, realizing I had been distracted by the dream, again. “Do I?” I said, with more bite then I intended. There was no reason to be irritable with Lily. She was noticing what I had seen in myself in the mirror this morning. A subtle change. Not anything I could directly name, but something was noticeably different. She analyzed my face for a long moment but she wasn’t able to pinpoint what had changed either. We sat in the dining hall surrounded by other young women all having their own quiet conversations. Lily looked at me over our plates, “Sinclaira, do you ever get tired of all the preparations for New York?” “Yes,” the response was out of my mouth before I even thought about it. Lily and I had always had a strong bond, she could tell that the change in my physical appearance ran much deeper. “You should take a break, let yourself relax.” Lily smiled as she said it knowing it was not like me to take a break. “You’re right, I should, but we both know I won’t.” I smiled back at her. We finished breakfast in companionable silence. Plate empty, she rose from the table, “I’ll be in the garden, if you decide to skip your riding lesson.” she said as she gathered her belongings. I had almost forgotten my lesson.
As I walked into the stable it was strangely quiet. There was no one around, save for a few stablehands. The first one spotted me and hurried over, “Jaques has been called away to assess a potential new horse for the manor, he sends his apologies Miss.” This was an interesting turn of events. I debated for half a second, I didn’t go riding alone ever, but today I was prepared to go riding and so riding I would go. “If anyone asks for me I’ve gone riding. I’ll saddle Apollo myself today.” From the look on his face I knew the young man thought it was a bad idea and wanted to argue with me, but then he seemed to think better of it, shrugged, and turned back the way he had come. Once he was groomed and saddled I led Apollo outside and mounted up. We walked down the usual path toward the far fields, but once I was out of sight of the barn we set out toward the rolling hills. The sun was beginning to peek out from behind the clouds. As we trotted along and I could smell the sweet grass of spring in the air. Apollo wanted to run and without an instructor to chase us down, so did I. My new found sense of self was urging me on. With little encouragement Apollo moved easily from a trot to a canter, and then to a full gallop toward the coastline. I could feel the wind rushing through my hair and the salty sea breeze kissing my cheek. I felt more free than a bird released from a cage. We reached the rocky cliffs and he slowed down to carefully find pick a path to the water. We stood on the shore, both of us breathing hard. I didn’t remember a time when I felt more exhilarated. Apollo’s ears twitched. Turning to see what he was listening to, I saw James striding up to us on the creature I had seen through the mist that day. It’s movements were ethereal and the wings I had seen all those weeks ago were now folded tight to its side. “The creature, is yours?” I said to him shock coloring my tone.
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Seeing him up close I now understood why he had looked so incredible in our first encounter.
His coat looked like it was made of the night sky flecked with stars; a black void that pulled the light in and reflected it in subtle glints with every movement. I couldn’t help the smile that was spreading across my face, at seeing the creature again, being formally introduced to him. It was an affirmation of our conversation from the previous night and all that had transpired. I knew his world now, or a fraction of it anyway. “They’re typically reclusive and live away from any other beings, I call him Orianne” James told me, patting the creature’s beautiful body. A smile played on James’ lips, one laced with mischief. How had he known I was out here? There was so much mystery and secrecy to his world, the world I had somehow stumbled upon. I stared at him, and then I urged Apollo forward, racing along the beach, reaching a gallop in a second. I looked back, a laugh building in my throat, but he was already close behind us. He caught up to us easily and held my gaze, that mischievous smile now glinting in his eyes as we galloped along the shore. The air around us was taking on the shimmer effect again, even moving as fast as we were, but his eyes had most of my focus. I could have tried to convince myself that the shimmering air was just the speed we were moving at, but I knew better now. The shimmer was coming from us, from the intensity of the energy between us. I tore my eyes away from his to look where we were going, knowing we were rapidly approaching the old 16th century ruins at the end of the beach. They jutted out into the sea cutting off this stretch of dark sand from the next. James was right beside me as we raced along. The energy continued around us, growing more clear and expanded outwards; now the beach was glittering as well with geometric patterns woven from golden light. As we raced toward the crumbling ruins a shadow curved around the base of the rocks, and the water seemed to be flowing, not crashing. It was an opening. It would be completely submerged at high tide, but now the water was low enough to reveal a cavern. Before last night, I would never have given in to my curiosity, now, I couldn’t stop myself. As we approached the cave both horses slowed to a walk. I could feel his eyes on me and I realized James was giving me a strange look. “What, you didn’t think I would win?” I said to him, laughing. “No, I was sure you could ride at least that well,” and there was a grin on his face that quickly disappeared, “but I didn’t realize you knew about this path”. I didn’t know this path, I’d never been here before, I had let Apollo run without restraint and when we had run out of field, we ended up on the dark beach. Once at the beach I didn’t think of a direction, I just let him run, only thinking of how it felt to be free. But now that I was paying attention, I could feel something drawing me in, something had urged me forward in this direction. Fear grabbed my chest, and I hoped it wasn’t written on my face, but then that glimmer in my just, the one that was like a river of energy within me, compelled me onward, to move towards the tugging sensation.
As we reached the end of the dark sand below the decrepit castle, we dismounted.
I stepped onto the rocks that curved in toward the shadowy cavern. I let go of Apollo at the edge of the water, the shallow waves lapping at my boots. Peering farther into the cave I couldn’t see much, it was dark and the only light was the reflection of sun from behind me and a small opening at the other end. I hopped lightly to another rock, making my way deeper into the cave. Now I was immersed in the cave. At the other end I could see that what had appeared to be a small opening was actually much larger than I realized, obscured by a heavy mist hanging throughout the cave. Moving along the edge, I was nearing the middle, when James spoke my name, but it sounded like a warning. I glanced back to see real concern on his face, but I ignored it, turning back into the cavern, the glimmer within me pushing me forward, toward something I couldn’t see, only feel. The tugging sensation intensified and the mist was getting thicker. I wanted to see clearly what was on the other side. That’s when I saw what the heavy mist really was. A glistening, iridescent, shield that separated the cave in half. The texture was almost like an oil, slick with slow hypnotic movement and shifting colors. It moved like a film on water, rising all the way to the ceiling of the vast cave. Mesmerized by the magic in front of me, I reached out to touch it without thinking it through. I had to see what it felt like. My hand outstretched, I made contact with the wall, only to find it wasn’t solid at all. A silky feeling glossed over my skin. It was cool and smooth, softer than velvet with a pale pearlescence to it that now covered my hand as well. The newly awakened piece of me urged me forward and I didn’t resist. Just feeling it wasn’t enough, I had to know what was on the other side. My fingers stretched farther through the thin layer, now my arm was through to the other side. It felt like I was holding onto a string from a piano as it was played, I could feel and hear a distant humming coursing through me. I looked at my hand through the veil and the pearl shimmer now decorating my skin. That strange feeling was calling me through the veil, calling to the essence of me that was comfortable with this magic. Without even noticing how he had gotten there, James was suddenly right beside me. I turned to look at him and he was looking back at me with wonder. I smiled at him, and let the new, recently discovered glimmer within me lead and we stepped through the veil together.

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